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Summer week 25

Hello again,
I saw the midwife on monday and it turns out i am suffering from this doming thing i mentioned last week. Its nothing too serious but i have to be extra careful and try to not make it worse. The only way i can do this is by not lifting much and making sure i get out of bed the way i was shown. It is just about not putting too much pressure on my tummy muscles.
It seems the morning sickness is back... Only in the evenings though thankfully. I am constantly tired again and no amount of sleep makes me feel any better. I also feel quite sick in the evenings (possibly worse than in the first 3 months). I have also started to lose my appetite again - although i am forcing myself to eat as it is crucial at this stage that i get all the goodness i can to pass onto the baby. I can only pray that this is not going to be the way i feel until the end. It will hopefully just pass!??!
We went to Phils parents 20th wedding anniversary party at the weekend which i found so tiring. I completely understand that people want to ask me lots of questions about being pregnant and the baby etc but my god after 4 hours of talking about nothing else and answering the same questions i was ready to hide somewhere. Perhaps its just that for me it feels like i have been pregnant forever now and i worry that people have forgotten who i am. I don't want to be seen as the pregnant one. This may not make much sense - i will try to explain.
I am fairly fun loving and absolutely love to go out on a friday or saturday night drinking pints or double vodkas (might even throw in some sambuka for good measure). I used to have fun wherever i went and had quite an active social life. If i wasn't at the pub i was meeting a friend for coffee or going to the cinema, the theatre, concerts even frequenting theme parks quit alot. Since being pregnant i can't think of anything worse than sitting in a pub and am starting to avoid group gatherings of any kind as people only really seem to talk to me about the baby (maybe they feel they have to). I have no interesting stories to tell in conversations anyway as i have been sober and hiding away since January. So perhaps i have nothing better to talk about myself than being pregnant.
I just can't wait to remind people who i really am and what fun i like to have and how sociable i can be. In saying that obviously my life is going to change considerably anyway as i will have a child which will mean my priorities are going to be very different but i still want to keep some of my own time and not forget that i am still only 25 and should enjoy it. The bottom line is that i think i am going stir crazy and i want my identity back - i am Katherine Henden not Katherine the pregnant one.
This probably coincides with me feeling like a complete whale. I have my sisters graduation and a wedding to go to in July and i am getting a bit depressed about what to wear. I know this is a very girly thing but its even harder when you are smuggling a massive beach ball up your top!!
While i am on a downer i will also tell you that the pregnancy glow has definitely disappeared and my hair & skin are disgusting again. In pregnancy you can suffer from this thing called Chloasma which is basically patches of skin that just darkens. Typically i have this under my eyes so i just look dreadful at the minute. With the power of makeup i can make myself look almost normal but its extra effort i could do without! In case you hadn't noticed i am also incredibly grumpy recently. Not a clue what triggers it sometimes it is nothing at all i will just feel really grumpy and snappy. Pretty sure its a hormonal thing. I really must pull myself out of this though.
Anyway on a lighter note i got to hear the baby's heartbeat on monday and when i told the midwife it was a girl she said she pretty much knew that anyway as it was definitely a girls heartbeat. As i have explained before a girls heartbeat in the womb is over usually 140 BPM and a boys is below this, my baby's is around 144 BPM.
On a completey different note Phil has been trying to sue a well known travel company for the last 3 years over a nasty accident that could have killed him on our honeymoon. He finally heard back this week that it looks like it will go to court very soon and i will have to give evidence. I am a little worried about when i will be summoned as i don't really fancy going into labour while on the stand!! Perhaps they will take pity on me and pay up the compensation we are claiming!!
I think i will use this bank holiday weekend to really relax and try to lift my spirits a bit. If i had the money i would whisk phil off somewhere for the whole weekend like Venice or something like that - but the River wey will probably have to do for now.
Thats all for now - i promise i will try to come back in a better mood next week.
Mum to be
XXXXXXXX

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