Skip to main content

Summer week 25

Hello again,
I saw the midwife on monday and it turns out i am suffering from this doming thing i mentioned last week. Its nothing too serious but i have to be extra careful and try to not make it worse. The only way i can do this is by not lifting much and making sure i get out of bed the way i was shown. It is just about not putting too much pressure on my tummy muscles.
It seems the morning sickness is back... Only in the evenings though thankfully. I am constantly tired again and no amount of sleep makes me feel any better. I also feel quite sick in the evenings (possibly worse than in the first 3 months). I have also started to lose my appetite again - although i am forcing myself to eat as it is crucial at this stage that i get all the goodness i can to pass onto the baby. I can only pray that this is not going to be the way i feel until the end. It will hopefully just pass!??!
We went to Phils parents 20th wedding anniversary party at the weekend which i found so tiring. I completely understand that people want to ask me lots of questions about being pregnant and the baby etc but my god after 4 hours of talking about nothing else and answering the same questions i was ready to hide somewhere. Perhaps its just that for me it feels like i have been pregnant forever now and i worry that people have forgotten who i am. I don't want to be seen as the pregnant one. This may not make much sense - i will try to explain.
I am fairly fun loving and absolutely love to go out on a friday or saturday night drinking pints or double vodkas (might even throw in some sambuka for good measure). I used to have fun wherever i went and had quite an active social life. If i wasn't at the pub i was meeting a friend for coffee or going to the cinema, the theatre, concerts even frequenting theme parks quit alot. Since being pregnant i can't think of anything worse than sitting in a pub and am starting to avoid group gatherings of any kind as people only really seem to talk to me about the baby (maybe they feel they have to). I have no interesting stories to tell in conversations anyway as i have been sober and hiding away since January. So perhaps i have nothing better to talk about myself than being pregnant.
I just can't wait to remind people who i really am and what fun i like to have and how sociable i can be. In saying that obviously my life is going to change considerably anyway as i will have a child which will mean my priorities are going to be very different but i still want to keep some of my own time and not forget that i am still only 25 and should enjoy it. The bottom line is that i think i am going stir crazy and i want my identity back - i am Katherine Henden not Katherine the pregnant one.
This probably coincides with me feeling like a complete whale. I have my sisters graduation and a wedding to go to in July and i am getting a bit depressed about what to wear. I know this is a very girly thing but its even harder when you are smuggling a massive beach ball up your top!!
While i am on a downer i will also tell you that the pregnancy glow has definitely disappeared and my hair & skin are disgusting again. In pregnancy you can suffer from this thing called Chloasma which is basically patches of skin that just darkens. Typically i have this under my eyes so i just look dreadful at the minute. With the power of makeup i can make myself look almost normal but its extra effort i could do without! In case you hadn't noticed i am also incredibly grumpy recently. Not a clue what triggers it sometimes it is nothing at all i will just feel really grumpy and snappy. Pretty sure its a hormonal thing. I really must pull myself out of this though.
Anyway on a lighter note i got to hear the baby's heartbeat on monday and when i told the midwife it was a girl she said she pretty much knew that anyway as it was definitely a girls heartbeat. As i have explained before a girls heartbeat in the womb is over usually 140 BPM and a boys is below this, my baby's is around 144 BPM.
On a completey different note Phil has been trying to sue a well known travel company for the last 3 years over a nasty accident that could have killed him on our honeymoon. He finally heard back this week that it looks like it will go to court very soon and i will have to give evidence. I am a little worried about when i will be summoned as i don't really fancy going into labour while on the stand!! Perhaps they will take pity on me and pay up the compensation we are claiming!!
I think i will use this bank holiday weekend to really relax and try to lift my spirits a bit. If i had the money i would whisk phil off somewhere for the whole weekend like Venice or something like that - but the River wey will probably have to do for now.
Thats all for now - i promise i will try to come back in a better mood next week.
Mum to be
XXXXXXXX

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dark cloud closes in

During my second pregnancy I wrote about my battle with, and subsequent diagnosis, of depression. During this time I stopped my medication and assured myself that I would reconsider the pills after I had my baby. When Dexter arrived I felt fine and strong enough to go it alone. This tactic has worked up until recently. Having a 5 year old who rebels against everything you say, an 11 month baby who just won't sleep, a husband desperately trying to give up smoking, a hectic, full time work schedule - throw into the mix money worries, family worries, going on an extreme diet, beginning a novel and seemingly untreatable psoriasis and you can start to understand why the downward spiral is happening again. For me the key to all of this is to recognise when it is happening which isn't always easy until it has gone too far and the dark cloud has really set in. Deflection is something I adopt when the pressure is on. Rather than admit that I am not in control of my mood swings...

A very honest post from Week 27

Well Christmas and New Year were eventful and not in a good way. I had, what was quite possibly, the worst Christmas ever for reasons I will detail in this blog. It began around the beginning of December. My 4 year old daughter seems to have become possessed. She started playing up and has gotten naughtier by the day. It started with her saying no to everything and refusing to do anything we tell her such as getting dressed, eating her dinner or simply not answering back to us. This progressed and she started being a smart arse with us saying things like "I don't have to do that if I don't want to" and "you can't tell me what to do". She has basically turned into a stroppy teenager overnight. We are yet to find a punishment that works on her, she just seems to be completely emotionless toward anything we implement. At the moment she has had most of her Christmas presents confiscated and has to earn them back through good behaviour but she doesn't s...

Weight wars

Dieting sucks! It is really hard to stick to a healthy routine when you don't see the immediate effect. In August I am going on a beach holiday abroad for the first time in 5 years. For most this is something to be excited about for me this is filling me with dread. The thought of sitting on a beach in a swimsuit terrifies me as I lost my figure a long time ago and I don't want to subject people to seeing my giant arse making sandcastles with the kids. So rather than get downhearted I started a healthy diet and have started frequenting the gym to try to rectify this situation. Just to clarify I am not ON a diet or trying out the latest fads I am simply changing my eating habits and exchanging meals and snacks for healthy ones. I have even taken to having sweetener in my coffee rather than sugar. The biggest obstacle is trying to eat breakfast as I have never been able to eat so early in the day but apparently it is the best way to get your metabolism going so I am trying......