Life after birth

I realise from my last blog I missed out a crucial piece of information - the baby's weight! He weighed in at a rather large 9lbs 6oz. Considering he was induced a week and a half early I dread to think what he would have weighed if he had reached his due date which is today as a matter of fact (6th April).

So I came home on the 27th March just after midday and things were pretty hectic from then until now. That evening we had most of our immediate family over to visit our new addition.
The following day I was visited by a community midwife who gave Dexter an all over check. In the hospital they had noticed what they called a dimple on his back just above his bottom but they had dismissed it as simply that. However the community midwife had a different view. The dimple is quite deep and she wanted to be absolutely sure it was a dimple and not a hole. If it were a hole that goes right through to his spine then it is a sign that he could have a form of spina bifida. So as a matter of precaution I was sent the following day back up the hospital to get it checked by a doctor.
The doctor didn't seem overly worried as Dexter was clearly moving his legs with no problem which is not the case with spina bifida sufferers. But they have ordered a scan to be absolutely sure. I just got the scan date through and have to wait another 2 weeks but I am not concerned.

We kept Summer off pre-school most of that week as she was just so excited and didn't want to be away from her brother. She has been overly helpful and can even change his nappy (with supervision of course). She wants to help out with everything and picks out his clothes most days. As Friday was the last day of school before the easter holidays we made her go in and Phil took Dexter in too so that Summer could show him off. The children sat around him asking lots of questions.

So this week Summer has been on school holidays which has been tough actually. I have felt forced to keep her busy instead of resting as I should have been. I just felt it was unfair for Summer to be plonked in front of the TV during school holidays so we have been out visiting people and went to Wisley gardens etc. Unfortunately the lack of rest has caught up with me. At the last midwife visit yesterday they were not impressed with my over excursion and said I absolutely must put my feet up this week.

Two days after having Dexter I popped into Guildford town centre to do a bit of shopping. I had so missed looking in normal clothes shops so thought I would give it a go and took Dexter out for his first outing. The epidural I had gave me excruciating back pain but other than that I had recovered really well and even forgot I had stitches.

Last week I also visited work which was nice. I am not usually one to show off but when you have achieved something as beautiful as Dexter it is pretty hard not to!

I have now been signed off from the community midwives and just await a call from the health visitor who will pay me a visit before I start visiting the baby clinic weekly.

My husband and I have got into a great routine and we are really organised. Dexter wakes for feeds 3 times in the night but goes straight back down so although I am sleep deprived it is not all that bad. I feel very lucky about this though as Summer was the same and even started sleeping right through the night from 6 weeks old. He is a really happy baby so far and sleeps all the time. We have special time in the evening where he stays awake for a bit staring at us (probably sussing us out). This is especially nice for Phil as he gets this special time when he gets in from work.

The other thing I am pleased about is that my weight is flying off. Quite the opposite to my last pregnancy where it stuck and I have spent the last 4 years trying to shift it. I am already in my old jeans which are a size 16 but my uterus is still shrinking (stomach still going down) so when that has stopped I will easily be in a size 14 which is fantastic. As soon as I am able I will be getting straight back into my exercise regime at bootcamp and keep up the momentum. Size 12 for the Summer I hope.

The main event

Firstly apologies for the delay in writing this, I have been somewhat pre-occupied but I will get to that.
So last Monday was induction day. I nervously approached Frimley hospital at 9am with my husband and sister. After being sent to three different wards we eventually found the right one only to be told that my sister could not come in as you are only allowed one person to accompany you (something they insist was in the leaflet they gave me but I really do not recall reading it). So I had to send my poor sister packing with the promise of a call to come up when they moved me to the deliver suit.

In the leaflet it said induction could take up to 48 hours so I was preparing myself for the worst. They inserted a propess (pessary) which is a bit like a mini tampon. It releases hormones toward the cervix to try to bring on labour. Within half an hour to my surprise the contractions began. I was told the baby was quite high so I was encouraged to walk about the hospital as much as I could. We walked to the cafe so phil could get some food. When we returned I was told Phil could not come back on the ward because between 1pm to 3pm is rest time and no one other than patients were allowed in. This was not welcome news considering I was getting contractions, it was nice to have the moral support of my husband.
So Phil went to work for a bit and came back at 3pm. I managed to get a bit of sleep to prepare for the long night ahead.

So eventually I thought I felt my waters break, we told the nurse who was pleased and checked how dilated I was. I was only at 3cm though so still a long way to go. The contractions were almost on top of each other and getting stronger each time. I had a bath to try to help ease the pain but eventually I begged them to let me go to the delivery room so that I could access some proper drugs and not just codeine. So at 9pm they examined me again and said that if I was at least 4cm they would take me through. I was 4cm so with a huge sigh of relief I was sent through to the delivery suit. We quickly called my sister to get up to the hospital as she was my back up birthing partner. I was even quicker to get the gas and air which was amazing.

It was at this point I made a strange decision that I was not going to have an epidural and see how far I could get with just gas and air. I genuinely thought I could do it.

I met my midwife and was told that they had to continuously monitor me because I was a high risk pregnancy which meant having the baby hooked up to a heart monitor and having the midwife by my side the whole time. Luckily she was lovely and throughout the night we had a good laugh together - yes really a good laugh. It got to the point were a midwife put her head around the door to find out what we were all laughing at. Phil was on top form with his comedy and it kept me going through some painful moments.

My fluids were too low and my temperature was up so I was hooked up to a drip for extra fluids. More wires to keep taking to the loo with me through the night!!!!
After a few very painful internal examinations they established that my waters had not actually broken! so they were broken for me. I felt like I had flooded the room!
From that moment the contractions became completely unbearable and is tarted to dilate very quickly. At this point I realised I had to have an epidural after all. After another examination I was 8cm so the midwife suggested we do it fast but I had to do another wee sample first. I went to the loo absent my gas and air when another contraction hit. Without the pain relief I became the shouty woman you see on the telly and had to be rescued from the loo. The midwife looked at me and suggested it was too late for the epidural. My response was quick and swift "I AM HAVING THAT EPIDURAL NO MATTER WHAT!" the anaesthetist didn't think it would kick in in time but I said I didn't care and to do it anyway. Luckily it kicked in quick. While they were putting it in the midwife asked if I was getting the urge to push to which I replied no - this was a bare faced lie as I was scared that if I said yes they would stop the epidural.

Oh the relief when the it kicked in was incredible. Unfortunately it slowed everything down for another 5 hours. This was sort of good for me though as it gave me time to have a power nap and prepare for the next important bit - pushing.
Unfortunately for my midwife her shift was over and a new midwife swooped in for the glory of actual delivery.
The new midwife Janine was completely different and really upbeat which is actually what we needed after being awake all night. We were also joined by a medical student who was expecting his first child too. So he had a vested interest in the whole thing.

So the time came to push. I pushed a couple of times and the midwife stopped me and said actually I want you to push until the biggest part of baby's head is out and then just stop and breathe through your contractions. I did this and to everyones surprise the baby started coming out by himself. The contractions just aided to push him out as I simply sat there breathing. The midwife didn't even touch him. To my bigger surprise both phil and my sister watched the whole thing from the business end and phil even cut the cord. 15 minutes of pushing is all it took to get him out. My perfect little boy was finally here! The midwife said she had not seen such a perfect birth for 20 years and that I should be very proud of myself.
I only needed a few minor stitches too.

I was then told that summer could come to the delivery suit to visit me and 4 hours after giving birth I was told if I really wanted to I could go home. I didn't even make it to the maternity ward which is such a bonus!

My experience at Frimley hospital was brilliant and I just felt really looked after. It helped that one of the midwives on night shift used to be my daughters childminder for 3 years and looked after us too.

I cannot thank all the staff especially my two midwives enough for a great and magical experience. Also a huge thankyou to my sister and husband who helped me through, especially those early hours when I felt like I couldn't go on. Amazing support and I am just so happy to have shared my experience with them.

So Dexter David Henden was born at 10.24 am on the 27th March after a 23 hour labour.

The last hurdle

Well it has been an eventful week.
On Monday I went to the hospital again for another scan. The baby has got bigger but the growth has slowed a bit so the diabetic diet is helping. The computer estimated that the baby is about 8lbs 6oz... and I still had 2.5 weeks to go.
Thankfully my prayers were answered when they said the magic words... "we will induce you early". In fact I am due to go in on Monday (in 4 days time).

Although it is only 1.5 weeks early it is such a relief. It is really nice to be able to tell Summer how many sleeps it is too. Also we can plan for childcare for my daughter. As I go in at 10am we will drop her at preschool as usual and her nanny will pick her up later and take care of her until my husband can get home.

So because of this new due date I left work unexpectedly on Tuesday. Thankfully I had prepared almost everything anyway so I just had a few loose ends to tie up. Actually leaving felt like a bit of an anti climax though. With the short notice I appreciate that I couldn't have the usual send off that my company usually puts together but it just felt really flat. I came in that morning and my boss said that she hadn't told anyone it was my last day as she thought I would want to do it myself. So...how exactly do you go about announcing your own last day....? I picked the easy option and bought chocolates accompanied by an email saying "chocolates in the kitchen as it is my last day, help yourself".
One nice touch was that the CEO was in our London office but still made the effort to call and wish me well which was a nice touch. I don't know, maybe I was expecting too much but I was struck with disappointment.

Anyway, today is day two of my maternity leave and I am going stir crazy already. Its not helped by the fact that my back and pelvic bones are in agony so any kind of walking is excruciatingly painful which rules out doing quite a bit. Other than watching TV. Virgin Media are coming shortly to install my new Tivo box which will keep me occupied.

Last week I visited an old school friend who has very kindly given me loads of baby boys clothes. I have just finished sorting them into ages and ironed them all so I am totally ready. Oh except for my birth plan which I have seemingly overlooked and have not filled in. For anyone that doesn't know a birth plan is just information you keep in your pregnancy book (which you must take to all appointments during your pregnancy). It outlines the way you would ideally like your labour & birth to go including the drugs you want, permission for the vitamin K injection, water or normal birth, etc. I must fill this in today for two reasons: Firstly, last time I was given pethidine which made me violently sick so I am planning to avoid it this time and secondly, I would like the baby cleaned before being passed to me. Yes, this is actually an option and one that I feel a bit guilty about but the babies do come out covered in blood and gunk which i would just rather not cuddle up to. So they quickly whisk them off and towel clean the gunk off first which is great.

At the beginning of my pregnancy we asked my big sister if she would like to be my birthing partner (alongside phil). She has been unable to give us an answer until yesterday as I think she was quite nervous about the thought of it. She has decided that she is going to be there which will be really nice and will give her a special bond with her nephew. It will also be nice for my husband to have some back up if he needs to take a break as it can go on for a very long time (36 hours with my daughter).

Today for the first time I have felt the fear. I am all of a sudden nervous about the birth but excited all at the same time.

So the next blog I write will be the big one!!!! Wish me luck and I will see you on the flip side with photos.

36+ weeks

Since I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes it has been hectic with hospital appointments. First I had to go visit the dietitian. She didn't tell me a huge amount that I hadn't already read in the leaflets they gave me. I have been using the home testing kit 4 times a day every day and am starting to get used to it now. I have to prick my finger and put the blood on a strip which then gives me a reading of the sugar levels in my blood. I am controlling it quite well with my diet.

Last week I had to go to see the consultant and the diabetic consultant. It does concern me when you visit them in the hospital as they just don't have enough time to really check your notes. This was proved when both consultants pointed out that the glucose test was done very late in my pregnancy and couldn't understand why. So I had to explain that this was actually the second test which was done as a result of a late scan showing the huge growth of my baby. It just worried me that they may be missing other things...
Also they have booked me in for another scan next week and I asked if the baby is still on the huge side would they then decide to induce me early to which I was told that early induction would only happen as a result of my sugar levels from my blood tests! Trouble is I do not have a problem with my sugar levels as they themselves have told me. This is all down to the size of the baby so I am none the wiser, all i do know for sure is that they will not let me go over my due date.

I have picked up some kind of chesty cough which has made for a really uncomfortable few days with very little sleep. every time I cough I pull all the muscles in my stomach. At night my coughing fits always leads me to have to get up for a wee too.
Today has been a particularly bad day and I have half expected to go into labour any minute. I have no energy at all, extreme pain in my lower back and odd sensations in my stomach. The nausea seems to have kicked in again which is not good when, due to the diabetes, I cannot skip any meals. I don't know if labour is imminent but I can definitely feel that my body is getting ready.
It would certainly make for a lovely mothers day gift this weekend.

The toughest part is that I am still at work. I thought I could cope fine but this week has been really hard. I have practically emptied my desk and handed all my projects over to other people so I am really just waiting it out. A couple of people in my office are really scared that I will go into labour at my desk and they will have to do something. I do keep pointing out that if that happened I would slope out of the office and drive myself home which they find incredible. Needless to say I think TV and films have a lot to answer for in  this respect as they give the wrong impression of what really happens

So next week is I have another scan and I will hopefully know more then about possible early induction. Watch this space. I may even be less grumpy and poorly next week too.

XXXX

Glucose tolerance results

So i had to fast from last night which was particularly difficult when you cannot even have a heartburn tablet which i have become incredibly dependent on. This morning began with having to drink the disgusting glucose drink which is lemon flavour and really sickly. This has to be drunk exactly 2 hours before the blood test and you must drink it within 5 minutes. The most difficult part is actually just keeping the drink down because if you throw it up you cannot have the test.

I go in to have my blood test at Frimley hospital and realise just what a wimp i am. You would think i could have a blood test without wincing after the amount i have had but no. I am told to go and eat something and come back in an hour. After a not too bad toasted sandwich i go back and am quickly told the test is positive so i must wait to speak to the diabetic specialist.

The specialist explains everything to me and explains that this is only a temporary condition and will stop as soon as I have had my baby. She hands me a very scary looking self testing kit and goes on to explain I have to prick the tip of my finger and process the blood through the machine 4 times a day.

On Thursday I am seeing the dieticien as they think it can be controlled via my diet rather than resorting to insulin shots.

On Monday I will see the consultant again who will review my weeks worth of glucose measurements that I have to log in a little diary.

I have been told that at this stage they cannot say for sure if they will induce me early but they can commit to saying they will not let me go over my due date. The next few weeks they will be keeping a close eye on me and the size of my baby (I may even have another scan) and make a decision on my induction date soon so watch this space.

In the meantime no chocolate for me, healthy eating is a must and 3 meals a day is also a must. I have even substituted the sugar in my tea with sweetener which really doesn't taste the same. The upside to revamping my diet is that by the time I have had this baby I will be used to it and can continue the diet alongside my bootcamp and generally get back into proper shape which I find really exciting.

On a side note I, in no way, see this as an awful thing as I am completely aware that of all the things that can go wrong in pregnancy this is not even close to the bad stuff. I watch one born every minute and last weeks episode was a real reminder of how lucky I am and that I shouldn't moan so much. The episode in question touched upon stillbirths and it was just what I needed to kick me out of my spiralling grump about heartburn, aches & pains, sleep deprivation and lack of most pleasures (alcohol, cigarettes and now chocolate). Sometimes you need a slap in the face like that to realise what you have and how good you have got it.

In Jerry Springer style here is my thought of the day - No matter how bad you think things are there is always someone out there going through worse than you.

Perhaps a change of plan

It has been a busy couple of weeks starting with a lovely long weekend break to Butlins and ending in a worrying hospital appointment.

I will run through things in order and firstly tell you about our lovely weekend away. It was important for us to have a break but more importantly was to spend some quality one on one time with my daughter before she has to share us with her brother. Butlins was the perfect choice and did the job perfectly. We ended up talking an awful lot about the impending addition to our family (bought up by Summer who is really excited)
There were only two downsides and that was that I had to squeeze into a swimming costume - something that no one should see at 33 weeks pregnant! and the walking. Our apartment was so far from the main complex it was a struggle to walk that far for me. I had also managed to throw my back out the day before we left which made for quite a bit of discomfort over the weekend.

When we got back I managed to pick up a chest infection so have been struggling more than usual to breathe and coughing so hard with such a weak pelvic floor brings its own dangers in public. For anyone that didn't understand that last bit you will have to look up the term pelvic floor as I am not going to explain here and embarrass myself any more.

So on Friday I had a 34 week scan thanks to my obesity! It was a bit strange as it was hard to work out which part of the baby we were looking at. It took ages as they seemed to measure absolutely everything. His head was so far down that i had to be tilted practically upside down just to get the baby to move his head. All of his organs were in good order but I did notice that on the computer screen it said my estimated due date was the 19th March which is odd as I am actually due on the 6th April. I asked the sonographer about it and she explained that my due date hadn't changed it was just an estimate based on the measurements that the computer automatically updates.

After the scan I went into my appointment with the consultant who made things much clearer. Basically my baby boy is currently huge! Based on the measurements he is almost 7lbs already but we have another 6 weeks to go (should be about 4-5lbs at this stage). This is most commonly due to gestational diabetes or just down to the fact that some people just breed big babies. Because of my previous diabetes test being borderline negative they need me to take it again. I am doing this tomorrow morning. If it is positive (which i will also find out tomorrow) I will be straight into the diabetic clinic in the afternoon and will begin to discuss options. Hopefully it can just be sorted out via diet. If the test comes back negative I have to go back on Friday to discuss options with the consultant as at this rate of growth it would be too dangerous to go full term.
So it seems that whatever happens tomorrow I am more than likely going to be induced early. That will be strange as they will actually book me in so I will know when my baby is coming. I am trying not to second guess what is going to happen but my gut is telling me I will be induced about 2 weeks earlier than my actual due date. I will need to review a few things such as when I finish work.
I also packed my hospital bag today so I am now officially ready to meet my baby boy whenever that will be.

I will blog about the test results tomorrow! wish me luck.

Under 8 weeks to go

Well I am on the home stretch which is brilliant. The only downside is that I am starting to feel really bad again as in the morning sickness is back.
I have a whole new set of ailments to complain about now. The main gripe is the pain I am getting in my pelvic bones... ouch! I read up and apparently it is just my bones softening and readying themselves for the labour but it just feels like someone has kicked me between the legs and I have loads of bruising. It mainly hurts the most after I have been sitting for too long and try to get up, i walk away from my desk looking like John Wayne. I am in too much pain to even be embarrassed by it!
Also I seem to be suffering from horrendous circulation issues in my legs. I wake up in the night and cannot feel whatever side of my leg I am laying on so have to turn over to regain feeling again. Turning over is a massive struggle in itself as I am just so heavy....
Then we move onto the movements of the baby. As there is hardly any room in there now all movements are magnified and I not only feel it but can now see it. The other day I even spilt some water from the force as I had it resting on my tummy. The motions of these movements actually make me feel a bit nauseous and can sometimes really hurt. On the other side of it though it does come with huge reassurances that the baby is healthy and things are going fine. What I love the most is that the baby really responds to my daughters voice. She sings to him sometimes and he moves erratically every time, it is so special to see and is helping my daughter to bond already.

The swelling in my ankles and feet seem to have stopped so that is nice but the heartburn is becoming quite unbearable. I am living on Tums and am pretty sure I am consuming more than the recommended dose. Someone told me that severe heartburn is a sign of your baby having lots of hair and this was proved right when my daughter was born so looks like I am having another hairy one!

The tiredness is really hitting home now and more so because I am up so many times in the night either with having to lug my huge body onto its other side or just needing the loo as baby is on my bladder.

At my last midwife appointment she did tell me that the baby is head down and very low. I took this to mean the baby is getting into position and I should prepare myself that he could be making an early appearance but I think that may be wishful thinking,

I do feel much more prepared now as we got the cot and changing unit out of the garage and cleaned it all up. The equipment is all set up in Summers room now and I even put the bedding on the moses basket and cleaned up the old rocking chair I had for night feeds with Summer. I have bought lots of clothes, vests, bibs, socks, hats, blankets etc. We have sorted out some of our finances in preparation for my maternity leave also.

I am definitely winding down on the work side of things. I had a client meeting up in London last week which absolutely wiped me out so I have pretty much ruled out anymore client visits now. I have now given official notice of my leaving date and am using up outstanding holiday by working only 4 day weeks from this week which will help loads with my tiredness.

We are off to Butlins this Friday for a long weekend away. Both my husband and I thought it was important to give our daughter just one last weekend away where it is all about her and get that quality time in. It will also do us all some good to get away for a few days and have a change of scenery. My daughter has really turned a corner and has grown up a bit more. She really tries to look after me and is always making sure I am alright. She tries to help me wherever she can and is really making me proud. The other night she slept in our bed and I was suffering with pains in my back so she insisted on scratching my back to try to help me sleep. She is only 4 so to be showing that amount of compassion is pretty incredible at her age.

Next week I think I will pack my hospital bag and that is the last thing on my to do list (other than the birth that is). I just need to remember what I should pack but I am pretty sure I will find helpful lists online.

Until next time
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