Kat didn't get the cream as she isn't allowed :(

I have done a lot of reflection since my last post and made some positive steps. One of my pet hates is when people moan constantly about situations they have complete control over but are just too lazy to make the change needed. So with this in mind I am now following a super healthy diet.
I think my stomach may still be in shock with the amount of fruit and vegetables it is receiving. Most of the time I think I am hungry I have a drink of water and it turns out I wasn't hungry at all.

I have also started exercising again. Up until a week ago I was attending a super intensive boot camp three times a week but had to stop due to the pregnancy as the low impact version is just a waste of time. So on Thursday and Friday last week I had time off work and took my daughter out for ridiculous long walks. By Saturday my ankles started to swell a bit.

Saturday was not a good day at all. I went on a mission to get a dress for my friend’s wedding that evening. Everything I tried on looked awful. I felt that even the shop girls were looking at me thinking "why are you even bothering, you are too fat". I know they weren't, it was just the kind of paranoid mood I was in at the time. Eventually my husband decided it was time for lunch and headed straight for McD's!!!! Obviously I couldn't face going in there as my diet forbids consumption of such foods. So I went my separate way from my family (I was starving too). As I turned the corner I just cried and couldn't stop. I think it was 40% down to feeling fat and frumpy but 60% down to hormones. I took over in the nearest shop and low and behold I found the perfect outfit (three times the amount I would usually have spent but I was feeling desperate).

That evening I got ready and put on my outfit. It did the trick and with the right amount of make-up I actually looked and felt pretty again.

So I have been watching my diet and getting more exercise for 4 or 5 days now and even in that short amount of time I feel so much better. I did have an altercation with my younger brother yesterday when he was trying to argue there was no point getting slimmer as I was just going to get fat with the pregnancy and there wasn't anything I could do about it. There is a difference though between being fat and having a cute baby bump.

Today is a good day and my mood is certainly up and counting down the next three weeks until my scan.
The moral of my self loathing story is to stop moaning about stuff and make a change, even if it is baby steps to begin with.

K
XXX