Dexter is now 3.5 weeks - where did the time go?

Dexter is now 3.5 weeks old and getting bigger by the day.
Today was a good day as Dexter had his scan this morning to see if the hole in his back goes through to his spine. The results were very good and it does not go through to his spine and everything looks normal. Apparently it may close up over time too. He will have another scan in about 3 months just to check there is no change.

I am spending most of my maternity leave feeling very guilty. As I am getting up every two hours in the night I know I should catch up on my sleep during the day when Dexter sleeps but when he does go for a long sleep in the day I end up using my time cleaning or cooking. This is mainly as I feel as I am at home and my husband is having to provide for me the least I could do is provide him with a spotless house and dinner on the table. In the process I am exhausted. Perhaps I should review this thought process and focus on myself instead.

Life with Dexter is amazing. He is such a timewaster and I could watch him all day. It is all so much easier than I remembered from the first time around. Perhaps it is just the fact that I have confidence in what I am doing this time around.

My weight is doing well. I was a size 16 before I fell pregnant and last week managed to fit into a size 14! so I am very pleased and making an effort to eat healthily. I still have to wait a few more weeks until I am allowed to do some exercises but I am walking a lot more in the meantime. With my weight loss and a new hair cut and colour I went out last weekend for a friends birthday. It was the first proper night out I have had and I really enjoyed myself. I was bombarded with compliments which didn't do any harm to my self esteem! It has certainly spurred me on to continue to lose weight and drop a couple more dress sizes so watch this space.

Going out for the first time was strange. Although I had an amazing time every now and again I would remember my kids and feel really guilty for leaving my 3 week old with someone. There was no need to feel guilty of course as they were safe and happy but it does make you think you shouldn't be out drinking!

I still have to pinch myself and don't quite feel like I am mature enough to have two kids but I do and I wouldn't change it for the world.

The next big decision to make it what contraception I am going onto as I no longer want any more children I need something a bit more secure than the pill. I have discussed with my husband about him having the snip but as we are both in out early 30's it doesn't feel quite right and a bit too final. So in the meantime I am toying with getting the injection. I need to go to the doctors and discuss all the options.

Anyway best go as mummy duties are calling and Dexter wants a feed.

Life after birth

I realise from my last blog I missed out a crucial piece of information - the baby's weight! He weighed in at a rather large 9lbs 6oz. Considering he was induced a week and a half early I dread to think what he would have weighed if he had reached his due date which is today as a matter of fact (6th April).

So I came home on the 27th March just after midday and things were pretty hectic from then until now. That evening we had most of our immediate family over to visit our new addition.
The following day I was visited by a community midwife who gave Dexter an all over check. In the hospital they had noticed what they called a dimple on his back just above his bottom but they had dismissed it as simply that. However the community midwife had a different view. The dimple is quite deep and she wanted to be absolutely sure it was a dimple and not a hole. If it were a hole that goes right through to his spine then it is a sign that he could have a form of spina bifida. So as a matter of precaution I was sent the following day back up the hospital to get it checked by a doctor.
The doctor didn't seem overly worried as Dexter was clearly moving his legs with no problem which is not the case with spina bifida sufferers. But they have ordered a scan to be absolutely sure. I just got the scan date through and have to wait another 2 weeks but I am not concerned.

We kept Summer off pre-school most of that week as she was just so excited and didn't want to be away from her brother. She has been overly helpful and can even change his nappy (with supervision of course). She wants to help out with everything and picks out his clothes most days. As Friday was the last day of school before the easter holidays we made her go in and Phil took Dexter in too so that Summer could show him off. The children sat around him asking lots of questions.

So this week Summer has been on school holidays which has been tough actually. I have felt forced to keep her busy instead of resting as I should have been. I just felt it was unfair for Summer to be plonked in front of the TV during school holidays so we have been out visiting people and went to Wisley gardens etc. Unfortunately the lack of rest has caught up with me. At the last midwife visit yesterday they were not impressed with my over excursion and said I absolutely must put my feet up this week.

Two days after having Dexter I popped into Guildford town centre to do a bit of shopping. I had so missed looking in normal clothes shops so thought I would give it a go and took Dexter out for his first outing. The epidural I had gave me excruciating back pain but other than that I had recovered really well and even forgot I had stitches.

Last week I also visited work which was nice. I am not usually one to show off but when you have achieved something as beautiful as Dexter it is pretty hard not to!

I have now been signed off from the community midwives and just await a call from the health visitor who will pay me a visit before I start visiting the baby clinic weekly.

My husband and I have got into a great routine and we are really organised. Dexter wakes for feeds 3 times in the night but goes straight back down so although I am sleep deprived it is not all that bad. I feel very lucky about this though as Summer was the same and even started sleeping right through the night from 6 weeks old. He is a really happy baby so far and sleeps all the time. We have special time in the evening where he stays awake for a bit staring at us (probably sussing us out). This is especially nice for Phil as he gets this special time when he gets in from work.

The other thing I am pleased about is that my weight is flying off. Quite the opposite to my last pregnancy where it stuck and I have spent the last 4 years trying to shift it. I am already in my old jeans which are a size 16 but my uterus is still shrinking (stomach still going down) so when that has stopped I will easily be in a size 14 which is fantastic. As soon as I am able I will be getting straight back into my exercise regime at bootcamp and keep up the momentum. Size 12 for the Summer I hope.

The main event - Dexter's birth

Firstly apologies for the delay in writing this, I have been somewhat pre-occupied but I will get to that.
So last Monday was induction day. I nervously approached Frimley hospital at 9am with my husband and sister. After being sent to three different wards we eventually found the right one only to be told that my sister could not come in as you are only allowed one person to accompany you (something they insist was in the leaflet they gave me but I really do not recall reading it). So I had to send my poor sister packing with the promise of a call to come up when they moved me to the deliver suit.

In the leaflet it said induction could take up to 48 hours so I was preparing myself for the worst. They inserted a propess (pessary) which is a bit like a mini tampon. It releases hormones toward the cervix to try to bring on labour. Within half an hour to my surprise the contractions began. I was told the baby was quite high so I was encouraged to walk about the hospital as much as I could. We walked to the cafe so phil could get some food. When we returned I was told Phil could not come back on the ward because between 1pm to 3pm is rest time and no one other than patients were allowed in. This was not welcome news considering I was getting contractions, it was nice to have the moral support of my husband.
So Phil went to work for a bit and came back at 3pm. I managed to get a bit of sleep to prepare for the long night ahead.

So eventually I thought I felt my waters break, we told the nurse who was pleased and checked how dilated I was. I was only at 3cm though so still a long way to go. The contractions were almost on top of each other and getting stronger each time. I had a bath to try to help ease the pain but eventually I begged them to let me go to the delivery room so that I could access some proper drugs and not just codeine. So at 9pm they examined me again and said that if I was at least 4cm they would take me through. I was 4cm so with a huge sigh of relief I was sent through to the delivery suit. We quickly called my sister to get up to the hospital as she was my back up birthing partner. I was even quicker to get the gas and air which was amazing.

It was at this point I made a strange decision that I was not going to have an epidural and see how far I could get with just gas and air. I genuinely thought I could do it.

I met my midwife and was told that they had to continuously monitor me because I was a high risk pregnancy which meant having the baby hooked up to a heart monitor and having the midwife by my side the whole time. Luckily she was lovely and throughout the night we had a good laugh together - yes really a good laugh. It got to the point were a midwife put her head around the door to find out what we were all laughing at. Phil was on top form with his comedy and it kept me going through some painful moments.

My fluids were too low and my temperature was up so I was hooked up to a drip for extra fluids. More wires to keep taking to the loo with me through the night!!!!
After a few very painful internal examinations they established that my waters had not actually broken! so they were broken for me. I felt like I had flooded the room!
From that moment the contractions became completely unbearable and is tarted to dilate very quickly. At this point I realised I had to have an epidural after all. After another examination I was 8cm so the midwife suggested we do it fast but I had to do another wee sample first. I went to the loo absent my gas and air when another contraction hit. Without the pain relief I became the shouty woman you see on the telly and had to be rescued from the loo. The midwife looked at me and suggested it was too late for the epidural. My response was quick and swift "I AM HAVING THAT EPIDURAL NO MATTER WHAT!" the anaesthetist didn't think it would kick in in time but I said I didn't care and to do it anyway. Luckily it kicked in quick. While they were putting it in the midwife asked if I was getting the urge to push to which I replied no - this was a bare faced lie as I was scared that if I said yes they would stop the epidural.

Oh the relief when the it kicked in was incredible. Unfortunately it slowed everything down for another 5 hours. This was sort of good for me though as it gave me time to have a power nap and prepare for the next important bit - pushing.
Unfortunately for my midwife her shift was over and a new midwife swooped in for the glory of actual delivery.
The new midwife Janine was completely different and really upbeat which is actually what we needed after being awake all night. We were also joined by a medical student who was expecting his first child too. So he had a vested interest in the whole thing.

So the time came to push. I pushed a couple of times and the midwife stopped me and said actually I want you to push until the biggest part of baby's head is out and then just stop and breathe through your contractions. I did this and to everyones surprise the baby started coming out by himself. The contractions just aided to push him out as I simply sat there breathing. The midwife didn't even touch him. To my bigger surprise both phil and my sister watched the whole thing from the business end and phil even cut the cord. 15 minutes of pushing is all it took to get him out. My perfect little boy was finally here! The midwife said she had not seen such a perfect birth for 20 years and that I should be very proud of myself.
I only needed a few minor stitches too.

I was then told that summer could come to the delivery suit to visit me and 4 hours after giving birth I was told if I really wanted to I could go home. I didn't even make it to the maternity ward which is such a bonus!

My experience at Frimley hospital was brilliant and I just felt really looked after. It helped that one of the midwives on night shift used to be my daughters childminder for 3 years and looked after us too.

I cannot thank all the staff especially my two midwives enough for a great and magical experience. Also a huge thankyou to my sister and husband who helped me through, especially those early hours when I felt like I couldn't go on. Amazing support and I am just so happy to have shared my experience with them.

So Dexter David Henden was born at 10.24 am on the 27th March after a 23 hour labour.