Summer week 14

Not much going on this week to be honest.
Main complaints are that I think the baby keeps lying in a strange position as I keep getting a pain which is similar to a trapped nerve or pulled muscle but its strange as I just know it is to do with where the baby is laying.
I am still struggling to sleep and have a bit of trouble eating. I have worked out that I must eat dinner before 8pm (latest) as I cannot eat a thing after this time. I am also suffering from severe headaches (but I was susceptible to them before I was pregnant, it just feels worse as I cannot take anything for them). Also my contact lenses itch like hell, I read up on this and apparently during pregnancy your eyes produces less liquid over your eyes so they become very dry and a little sore (this can also cause headaches). It is called dry eye syndrome and is made worse if you wear contact lenses. If it continues I will have to revert back to wearing glasses (uuurrgggghhh). Will keep wearing the lenses until I can bear it no longer!!
My concentration and memory are much better now and I am starting to feel happier. Still checking the bump every morning and it is definitely becoming more noticeable, even Phil thinks I am showing now. I just need to get a little bigger to justify that it is actually a baby and not just fat.
Went shopping at the weekend for maternity clothes and wanted to get a token present for the baby to celebrate the scan. Got a bit upset as I had a splitting headache and got tired very quickly which frustrated me more than anything as I had been looking forward to this for a while. We went to Camberley and I hated ALL the maternity clothes so opted for some smock type tops and just got bigger baggier sized clothes. Also treated myself to a new soft dressing gown and some comfy slippers. Couldn't find anything I wanted to get for the baby as all the neutral stuff was yellow or white which I don't really like. Mum saved the day when she found a really cute mint green outfit from mothercare so I got that.
Looked at the big expensive stuff like cots etc and Phil almost had a heart attack at the prices. Although he felt much better when I found some of these things on ebay or second hand from the local ads. Think we may go scouring some car boots soon, always good for a bargain. I do want to get a few things brand new as its our first child but there is nothing wrong with second hand.
Was getting worried about the cats as they have a habit of sleeping on my pillow and I was concerned that they would get into the cot while the baby was asleep and suffocate him/ her. Until someone at work told me you could get cot nets which were designed to keep cats out, had a look at one and they seem very good so that is one worry off my mind.
Still haven't felt the baby kick yet but there is plenty of time for that. I have had a few flutters but it could just be wind.
The nursery got off to a flying start and has now stopped mid decoration. Phil stripped the horrible walls down (with a bit of help from my dad) but as yet that is all that has been done. Decided on laminate flooring as it will be easier to clean up any mess although I do want a big rug in the middle of the room. Hunted high and low for any elmo or sesame street wallpaper or borders and have so far found nothing. I am not giving up though and my talented husband is going to paint an elmo mural on the wall for me - lets just hope the baby likes elmo as much as I do!
Got some friends here from Oz for the next couple of weeks and I get to meet their 1 year old for the first time tomorrow. We are spending the whole week together doing child friendly things like going to London Zoo. It will be good practice for me and I cannot wait.
Not got an anti-natal check up until next month. My next scan is booked in for the 5th May and I will hopefully be able to find out the sex of the baby. We have decided on a boys name (although it may change later on) but have not found a girls name yet. I am not going to divulge the boys name yet but am very open to hearing girl name suggestions (PLEASE).
Anyway that's enough for now. Looking forward to hearing your girl name suggestions.
See you next week
Mum to be
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Summer week 13

Well its been another busy week.
The midwife came over on Wednesday to do all the tests (blood test, urine test, blood pressure...) and found it very amusing when i asked if this would be the last blood test. I think her words were "there is plenty more of that to come". How niaeve she must think i am. Thankfully my blood pressure is back down to normal but i do need to drink more water apparently. She left telling me that the next few months are supposed to be the best and i should enjoy them. So i plan to.
I swear i am getting bigger by the day. Sadly i have got into the routine of checking my bump in the mirror before i get in the shower every day and checking again when i am fully dressed and on my way out to work (probably just making sure i am showing enough). Thats so sad and Phil keeps laughing at me saying you are the same size as yesterday but he is a man so what does he know.
The scan picture has certainly made the rounds and i have pretty much shown everyone now. The funniest reaction is when people say "oh my god its a baby" - what the hell were they expecting!!! My brother has been calling him/ her jelly bean (as thats what it looked like in the first scan) and i really thought after this scan he would stop but unfortunately i think its going to be a name that sticks.
Had my mums 50th birthday on saturday which was great. Met up with relatives and old friends we have not seen for a while so obviously i was the topic of conversation and even had two people kissing my bump! didn't realise people did that, have to say i was a little shocked.
Oh my God what has happened to my memory... i used to remember everything and now i can't even remember what i was doing 5 minutes ago. Its really frustrating especially as i am still having guitar lessons and can't remember a thing from lesson to lesson!! I do hope this is temporary as my sister keeps joking that i am turning into mum and i am.
Speaking of mum, me and the cooing nanny are going shopping this weekend for baby things. This will be the first time buying things for the baby so i am very proud of her for for waiting this long. Only going to get clothes and cute things, we will wait a while longer before we start on the big things like cots etc as i am still being cautious.
Finally the main thing i have noticed recently is my mind set and attitude towards things. I have always been told that i was very mature and had a grown up head on my shoulders but i think its not until you are faced with motherhood that you really truly grow up. I reacted this week to something in a completely different way than i had ever planned to. This won't make much sense to many people but i do not want to go into details on what this was exactly. I just realised that there is much more to life than petty squabbles and past mistakes or misunderstandings. Your priorities and the whole perception of life and what its about definately alters (god thats getting a bit deep). I really feel like i am extremely lucky to be bringing a new life into this world. This is not something that everyone gets to experience and i really should count myself lucky.
I am so sorry, it did get a bit deep this week but a couple of things have happened to make me look long and hard at myself (and i am not just talking about my bump in the mirror in the morning!). This may also have something to do with the strange hormonal changes that keep happening, in some ways i am glad i am not the man - many apologies to phil for the mood swings!

Anyway thats enough. Not much happening next week apart from me growing even bigger but come and have a read as there may be something interesting - who knows!
Mum to be
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Summer week 12 again

Hey all,
If you are confused about the title let me explain. I had my scan this week which gave a more accurate reading of my due date so i have had it confirmed that i am now actually in my 12th week and baby is due on the 4th September.
This week has been quite good actually. Sickness has almost completely gone. I have to eat my dinner before 7pm otherwise i can't stomach any food after that. I get the occasional evening where i fall asleep in front of the telly early evening (much to the annoyance of my husband). But am definately feeling my old self again.
On sunday me and phil (hubby) went through some baby clothes that we had donated to us. It was mainly babygrows and vests which is quite handy to have alot of, so we spent the evening seperating them into ages. We also started to clear out the future nursery. The people who lived there before seem to have painted the walls with some paint that actually had sand in it to give it a "nice" texture. Its horrible & sharp and very hard to strip off so we are getting a plasterer over to price up a scimming job. Talking about ripping the carpet up and putting down laminate flooring (just think of all the liquids that would be easier to clean up). I have decided that it will have a sesame street theme and phil has said i am allowed to get my elmo's down from the loft and they can go in the nursery (Yay). We are not actually going to start on the finer points of decorating just yet though as its a bit early but we are certainly going to get started with the plastering etc.
Down to business, i had the scan yesterday and it couldn't have gone better. I didn't sleep much the night before worrying that they would find something wrong or worse still would not find a baby (or anything) in there and there had been a huge mistake - i know this sounds silly now but you can't rationalise your thoughts when you are worried.
The first sight of my baby was hilarious. I was prepared for the tears but instead i found it so funny as baby was literally throwing itself around. It looked like it was doing the worm on its back (a breakdancing move) which i found so funny as phil is such a fidget arse that it must take after him. All the measurements were fine (about 2 inches from head to bum) although baby is on the smaller end of the scale but still within normal size so that sounds good (the smaller the better). All organs were there and they measured the brain (good to know it has one). Got some great pictures which are in my pictures (go and have a look) they are so clear that you can even see the jaw and nose.
So today i feel very relieved. I feel like i can stop worrying as much and start enjoying it all. I may even have a glass of wine on saturday night as i haven't touched a drop since new years eve. I already plan to go shopping with my mum and get something for baby. My friends are visiting from Australia in March so i am sure we will end up spoiling baby then too.
It definately feels much more real to me now. I am just so excited!!!
Oh bought baby its first DVD the other day - couldn't resist as it was on sale - it was Elmo in grouchland!! Guess what my child is going to be forced to like!!!

Anyway best go. Don't forget to have a look at the pictures on myspace.
Mum to be
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Summer week 12

Things are definately getting better and someone even told me today that i look very well and that pregnancy obviously suited me!
Got my scan on the 21st Feb so i am quite anxious about that. I just want to get it done and out of the way so that i can finally buy things for the baby. I have been very good and held back on the baby buying stuff just until the scan as i didn't want to tempt fate. My mum has been very good too and we plan to go on a massive shop together and she is dying to buy cute tiny clothes.
This will be the first baby in my immediate family so i know he or she will be absolutely spoilt. The stuff my sister bought from New York were so cute.
Anyway back to me. Although i said last week that the sickness had gone i was being a bit hopefull i think as i have had a few sicky moments this week too. But at least it is on the odd occasion and not a constant feeling. I have established that i must eat dinner before 7pm otherwise my appetite dissapears and any thought of food makes me feel queezy (except chocolate). Not sure if its a craving but i want chocolate all the time. I was never really a huge chocolate lover before the pregnancy so i think it possibly is a craving - could point to me having a girl?!.
still not properly showing yet although i am definately getting a little bigger. I finally tried on the maternity jeans that my mum bought me (they look hidiouse as they have a massive high elasticated waistband to cover your whole belly) but actually the look quite good on and very comfy.
The main things that have bothered me this week is the amount of things i have to cut out of my diet. After my recent visit to the docs about my heart palpataions i have been banned from having any caffeen. This on top of giving up smoking, drinking and certain foods that i love has been very tough and i am already salivating over that first celebratory glass of vodka and coke!
On the subject of my heart, i had an ECG and blood tests yesterday which looked normal and just have to wait for the blood test results now. Since cutting out the caffeen the palpataions have eased considerably although my blood pressure is up. Will keep you posted on this one.
Next week should be a good one for me as i will be moving into the second trimester when things should be wonderful and rosey. Might even have a think about how we will decorate the nursery (although we won't do that until much further down the line).
Mum said the other day "you only have another 6 months to go" this kinda freaked me out a bit as 6 months is nothing really!!! No turning back now.
Anyway be sure to come back next week as i will have the scan picture to show you (if i can figure out how to insert a picture).
See you next week
Mum to be
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Summer week 11

Sorry if i put anyone off the idea of pregnancy last week as things are definately better this week.
Monday morning started very well and i realised that the sickness has subsided!!! yay.
Everything is not quite perfect yet though. My boobs ache like hell (still the same size though!) and my appetite is not fully back to normal but at least i can eat without wanting to throw up which is a move in the right direction.
The only new thing i am experiencing this week is heart palpitations. Not sure if this is a pregnancy thing or very unrelated but they started on monday and have got worse throughout the week (had 15 today already and it is only 2.30pm).
Going to the doctors tomorrow to get it checked out just to be on the safe side but i am sure its just a hormonal or anxiety thing.*
Starting to get excited now. I have the main scan on the 21st Feb and as long as everything is ok i will be going shopping with my mummy for the first of the baby stuff.
My sister went to NY last week and got baby henden an i heart NY babygrow - how cute!!!
Anyway things are definately better this week but the myth about pregnant women losing brain cells is definately true i'm afraid!
* Have been to docs today and these heart things do not seem to be pregnancy related. Have to have an ECG and blood tests next week which will hopefully get to the bottom of it.

Summer week 10

4 years ago I wrote a blog about the ups and downs of my first pregnancy. Some people have requested that I republish these on this site. So here they come. The next load of blogs will be those republished blog.
If you don't want to read them just skip all blogs with Summer in the title - enjoy : )

As a recent mother-to-be i am having difficulty taking on board everyones advice or what not to do, eat, what helps with morning sickness etc.
There is a real issue here of how far you want to get sucked in to this over protective world. If i actually listened to all the things pregnant women should and shouldn't do i would just be sat in a specially constructed bubble for 9 months having no contact with the outside world.
On the otherhand if i don't follow the advice given to me and god forbid anything goes wrong or my child ends up with some illness i may always wonder if i could have done more to give them a better start in life.
Tricky!!
My main annoyance with being pregnant is that noone gave me proper warning about the so called morning sickness... Can you believe this does not only occur in the morning. For me it occurs every waking moment of my day and hits its peak just as i go to bed at night. Before anyone says Ginger biscuits will help - they don't! they actually make me feel worse.
(incase you hadn't noticed i am in the first trimester where everything is crap but i have been reassured that this will pass at about the 14 week stage)
I will keep blogs the whole way through my pregnancy to give any potential mothers-to-be an accurate and honest take on the whole thing.
At this stage its not too good. Everything aches - my back, legs, tummy and especially boobs.
I feel tired ALL the time. I literaly get home from work and crash out. Saturday just gone i went shopping in the morning and went to the pub in the evening getting home for about 1.30 am, the next day i could not get out of bed at all. I start to do housework and have to sit down for rests every 20 minutes so nothing gets done in the end.
To sum it all up i feel like an 80 year old woman. Can't wait for the next part of the pregnancy when everthing is great - your bump starts to show, the morning sickness goes, you get your energy back and best of all you get that pregnancy glow people talk about!

Keep you posted!

Mum to be
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Kat didn't get the cream as she isn't allowed :(

I have done a lot of reflection since my last post and made some positive steps. One of my pet hates is when people moan constantly about situations they have complete control over but are just too lazy to make the change needed. So with this in mind I am now following a super healthy diet.
I think my stomach may still be in shock with the amount of fruit and vegetables it is receiving. Most of the time I think I am hungry I have a drink of water and it turns out I wasn't hungry at all.

I have also started exercising again. Up until a week ago I was attending a super intensive boot camp three times a week but had to stop due to the pregnancy as the low impact version is just a waste of time. So on Thursday and Friday last week I had time off work and took my daughter out for ridiculous long walks. By Saturday my ankles started to swell a bit.

Saturday was not a good day at all. I went on a mission to get a dress for my friend’s wedding that evening. Everything I tried on looked awful. I felt that even the shop girls were looking at me thinking "why are you even bothering, you are too fat". I know they weren't, it was just the kind of paranoid mood I was in at the time. Eventually my husband decided it was time for lunch and headed straight for McD's!!!! Obviously I couldn't face going in there as my diet forbids consumption of such foods. So I went my separate way from my family (I was starving too). As I turned the corner I just cried and couldn't stop. I think it was 40% down to feeling fat and frumpy but 60% down to hormones. I took over in the nearest shop and low and behold I found the perfect outfit (three times the amount I would usually have spent but I was feeling desperate).

That evening I got ready and put on my outfit. It did the trick and with the right amount of make-up I actually looked and felt pretty again.

So I have been watching my diet and getting more exercise for 4 or 5 days now and even in that short amount of time I feel so much better. I did have an altercation with my younger brother yesterday when he was trying to argue there was no point getting slimmer as I was just going to get fat with the pregnancy and there wasn't anything I could do about it. There is a difference though between being fat and having a cute baby bump.

Today is a good day and my mood is certainly up and counting down the next three weeks until my scan.
The moral of my self loathing story is to stop moaning about stuff and make a change, even if it is baby steps to begin with.

K
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