✨ My Surgery Journey Begins ✨

I am so excited to share that next month I will be having a tummy tuck and breast uplift.

I've decided to be completely open about the procedure because, let's be honest, the results will probably be quite visible! More importantly, I'd rather tell my story once than answer the same questions a hundred different times.

What has surprised me already is the number of people who have said things like:

💬 "Let me know how it goes."

💬 "I've been thinking about doing the same."

💬 "I'd love to hear about your experience."

So I've decided to share my journey from start to finish.

For years, whenever I researched these procedures, I searched for real-life experiences from real women. If my story helps even one person who's considering something similar, then sharing it will be worth it.

 

How We Got Here

My story starts almost 19 years ago when I was busy growing a human being inside my 5'2" frame.

My daughter was a BIG baby.

Pregnancy changed my body in ways I could never have imagined. Everything expanded—not just my tummy. My feet, ankles, thighs, upper arms, neck, and even my boobs all increased in size.

When she arrived, she left me with an umbilical hernia and severe abdominal muscle separation (diastasis recti), which created a strange dome shape down the centre of my stomach.

And from that moment on, my body was never quite the same.

Trying Everything

After giving birth, I gave myself grace.

I knew my body wouldn't simply bounce back overnight.

But after several months, I realised something wasn't right. Instead of getting smaller, I seemed to be getting bigger.

I joined boot camp three times a week, walked for miles pushing the pram, and focused on eating well. Despite all of that effort, nothing shifted.

At the same time, I noticed another change.

My breasts had lost their shape and fullness. They sat much lower than before and felt completely different.

(Think spaniel ears. If you know, you know. 😂)

Baby Number Two

A few years later, I fell pregnant with my son.

And somehow, he was even bigger than his sister.

The second pregnancy felt like the final nail in the coffin for the figure I once had.

Fourteen Years of Frustration

For the next 14 years, I tried everything.

Diets.

Exercise plans.

Lifestyle changes.

Medical investigations.

Blood tests.

Appointments.

Advice.

More advice.

I won't bore you with every detail because many of those attempts appear in previous posts, but after years of trying, every professional told me the same thing:

"There is nothing medically wrong with you."

Most recently, as a last resort, I tried Mounjaro.

Honestly, it felt like cheating, which is why I resisted it for so long.

Imagine my heartbreak when it did absolutely nothing.

I didn't lose a single pound.

Well... apart from the pounds disappearing from my bank account because that stuff is expensive! 😂

Throughout all those years, one thing never changed.

I always knew I wanted a breast uplift.

I told myself it would be my reward once I reached a certain weight goal.

The problem was that goal never seemed to come.

Learning to Love Myself ❤️

Eventually, I reached a point where I was simply tired of trying to become someone else.

Instead of endlessly chasing a different body, I decided I needed to learn how to love the one I have.

That sounds lovely in theory.

In reality, it's hard work.

It requires changing the way you see yourself and challenging everything you've been taught about beauty.

But there were two things I always struggled to accept:

🔹 My drooping breasts

🔹 My overhanging tummy

Those weren't just physical insecurities.

They affected how I dressed.

They affected what activities I felt comfortable doing.

They affected my confidence.

I love swimming, but I stopped going because I could never find a swimsuit that supported my chest like a bra while also making me feel comfortable around my stomach.

And over time, those feelings seeped into other areas of my life.

Including my relationship with my husband.

When you feel uncomfortable in your own skin, it follows you everywhere.

The Conversation That Changed Everything

Recently, I went away for a girls' weekend with some incredible women I've known since school.

We lost touch for years but reconnected a few years ago, and they've become my ride-or-die group.

During a conversation, one friend casually mentioned she'd had a breast uplift.

I was shocked.

I had absolutely no idea.

Then I realised that, in our group of six, three women had had some form of cosmetic procedure.

When I mentioned I'd always wanted a breast uplift, she simply asked:

"What's stopping you?"

And honestly?

I couldn't answer.

Was it money?

Fear of judgement?

Fear of the pain?

(I am ridiculously squeamish.)

Or was I afraid that surgery wouldn't magically make me love myself?

Whatever the reason, that question stayed with me.

Making the Decision

That weekend planted a seed.

When I got home, I started researching seriously.

I wasn't even sure I'd qualify because my BMI is higher than ideal.

But after consultations and assessments, I discovered that I do qualify.

And now...

I'm booked.

I'm ready.

And next month, this journey officially begins.

What's Next?

So that's the backstory.

That's the "why."

In my next post, I'll share the "how"—the consultations, decision-making process, surgeon selection, costs, fears, and everything else that led me here.

If you've ever considered cosmetic surgery, struggled with body confidence, or are simply curious about the process, feel free to follow along.

I'll be sharing the whole journey—the good, the bad, and the hopefully very uplifted. 😉💕

This isn't about becoming someone else. It's about feeling comfortable as me.

Do what makes you most happiest...

This is something I have long forgotten but something I am aiming to rectify.

I have been looking inwardly for a while now as I realised I have lost myself a bit. I have spent so long being mum, wife, councillor, chauffer, chef, cleaner, dog walker business owner etc etc etc (you get the idea) that I don't really know who I am anymore or what makes me tick. My son asked me last Mothers day what I would like to do as it was 'my day' - I honestly couldn't answer and my 11 year old boy just said "that's really sad". He was absolutely right, that is sad!

When did I just stop living my own life to serve everyone else?

I like to paint and have recently made time to complete a run of adult paint by numbers to decorate my living room with. I also started doing acrylic paintings and watching some Bob Ross for inspiration. This is a good start but I'm not passionate about it.

Today I remembered what I used to be passionate about and that was writing so I am back on my blog to find out if that passion is still there, deep down somewhere.

What I love about writing on here is that I always set out to write about a specific topic but my thoughts and feelings (and typing fingers I guess) take me somewhere else entirely. I wrote in a previous post about how this blog serves as a therapy for me. It's always been a good place to get my thoughts down and help understand them better. 
This topic is no different as I have just felt 'lost' for such a long time but even this one small post has lightened that feeling already... this is me and where I should be, writing for the world to see :) (well my handful of readers anyway).

How did I get here?

To answer that is difficult as it creeps up over time. With each new responsibility, burden, role etc a small part of me disappeared... very slowly at first and over a long period of time until there was not much left.

After having my second child is when it really started. Being mum to 2 children (3 if you count the husband 😉) is very time consuming. Over time I also got 2 dogs which take up lots of my time - but these are the healthy timewasters as they force me to go out for therapeutic walks even when my depression is heightened and I don't want to leave the house.

Both my children (now 11 and 16 years old) have an agent and are often going to casting calls etc. My daughter does so many clubs (dancing, singing and acting), has a part time job and tutors younger children in Math within their own homes and my son does golf lessons and requests countless trips to the skatepark to perfect the grazing of his arms and legs on his skateboard. All of this requires me to drive them, wait around and generally schedule my time, dinner and any of my own activities around them. Honestly my diary looks like a code breakers worst nightmare!

Oh I forgot to mention I also run a Financial Services company with my husband (Henden Financial). I look after the staff, HR, marketing, and oversee compliance and admin processes so you know, no biggy (exhausted sigh).

But the thing that really erased my real self was illnesses. Since turning 30 (some time ago now) I have been riddled with so many issues. Nothing life threatening or considerably life changing by the way so believe me I do count myself very fortunate still and won't ever think I have been dealt a rough hand as so many are in worse situations. These illnesses just taught me to make myself as invisible as possible.

I hate sympathy with a passion. As mentioned above, we are all going through something, so I don't like to accept sympathy as I never feel very deserving of it. So in an effort to avoid this and to not be a burden to anyone I started to be as unnoticed as possible. 

On a night out I used to be in considerable pain so just kinda took a seat and acted as if 'I don't really do dancing', that way people stop asking you to dance after a while, completely unaware that its not that you don't want to, its simply that you can't as your body won't allow it. The only problem with this particular trick is that now the pain is sorted I don't know how to get back out of that seat and find the confidence I used to have to dance. 

I have a million other little tricks I have used to be 'seen but not heard' but the most effective I found was to simply not leave my house. Come up with excuses to not go to events or meet friends for coffee etc. A very effective way to not be a burden but sadly a vey good way to drift away from people and stop getting invites at all... in essence losing the biggest part of myself.

However, never one to dwell on past mistakes I am rectifying and making amends. The people currently around me know my struggles (to a degree) and tolerate my lack of confidence while trying to build me up so with that in mind I am going to write more, make time for myself and generally say 'yes' more!

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY 🌈

This pic is because Chris Hemsworth makes me happy so this was a good day 😄

Light therapy - The results

I have been very bad at keeping a written update on my light therapy so now that I have had the last session I thought I would share the results.


Before I go into that I will give you some pros and cons of the light therapy from my perspective (everyone reacts differently).

Cons

• Gives you a constant tan - May not sound like a con but I have become paranoid that people think I am using sun beds... I point out constantly that its medical.

• Redness on days of treatment - Immediately after treatment I am fine but throughout the day you get redder and redder until you become a human glowstick. It doesn't hurt but does make you very hot.

• Goggle marks - to begin with I had to wear these little goggles which left my burning red face with ridiculous white goggle marks. It was getting ridiculous so as I don't really have Psoriasis on my face I opted to use sun block on my face for the last 10 sessions which helped alot

• Burnt nipples - true thing! how often do your nipples see the sun? so when they were exposed to this UV ray i did actually burn them so again I opted for sun cream on my face and nipples.

• Time - I have felt like the hospital is my second home. I have perfected the f*ck off look to the charity guy who sits in the foyer. There is only so many times they can approach you before you start thinking "seriously you still don't recognise me as you have harassed me twice a week for the last 4 months!

• Itching - Anyone who has psoriasis knows the phrase "it has to get worse to get better". There is a moment with all the psoriasis treatments where it starts to work a bit but when your skin starts to repair it can be the most incredible itchy sensation. Yes, it is short lived (sometimes a few days) but its hard to do normal things while you just want to cry and scratch off your skin.

Pro's

There is only one. See pictures below of my arm:

I think this picture says it all!

However, although my arms are better my torso is not quite clear.

Because of this they are moving me to 10 sessions on a different machine. It is PUVA treatment. Same kind of thing but I have to take a tablet 2 hours before treatment to make my skin more sensitive.
Biggest downside to this one is that on days I have treatment I must wear sunglasses all day and cover up any skin all day so if you see me indoors wearing sunglasses I am not hungover, it is medical lol!!!

For anyone suffering please please please give the light therapy a go. As you can see it is so worth it!