This blog may come as a shock to some as my pregnancy is not yet common knowledge. I have had ups and downs trying to hide such an obvious secret.
It all began last month when the 2 week headache became unbearable so I decided I had to see a doctor. The day before a male friend made a remark that I was obviously pregnant. I laughed it off as it could not possibly be that. My plans were to have a second baby next year. I have a big party planned in October for my 30th and it was going to be the party of the century. Then I was struck with a drunken memory of a few weeks previous. Yes, there definitely was a careless moment... shit!
So the test was positive, as were the second and third tests. I saw the doctor the next day and suddenly I am booked in with a midwife and it is actually happening again.
So the rule of thumb is that you shouldn’t tell anyone until after your scan at about 3 months. The theory is that the first 3 months are crucial and the risk of miscarriage is exceptionally higher. So I told family and one or two close friends. The estimate is that I am about 2 months gone but I am filling out a stupid pace. I am already struggling to fit into my work trousers. This is not good when I am trying to keep it quiet. I resign myself to the fact that people probably just think am getting fat. I am meeting the midwife next week who will give me my scan date.
I have attended seven events since finding out my news, seven events where alcohol is present and I am expected to consume large quantities. The ‘I’m on antibiotics’ did not go down well, and the ‘I have to drive’ excuse is wearing thin. People really want me to drink. I’m starting to think that maybe I am a bit dull sober!!!
There is also the smoking situation. I have quit under the guise of ‘it’s about time as I approach 30’. It is a struggle though and I am still sneaking the odd cigarette. I have been assured that this is not too bad and that stress can cause more harm to an unborn baby. I am working on it!
My 4 year old daughter also knows my big secret. As soon as I told her I did think it was a bit silly and probably wouldn’t remain a secret for long. So far she has not dropped me in it. She is so excited and refers to the bump as her brother. I hope she won’t be too disappointed if it’s a girl. She has also asked me daily if her brother is ready to pop out yet! I think this is going to be a very long 9 months!
The stress of keeping this quiet is probably much harder than the morning sickness I am suffering from. Only a few more weeks and I can finally ‘let the cat out of the bag’.
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