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50 shades of "vanilla"

So it first came to my attention a while ago when Holly Willoughby was talking about it on twitter, then more people started mentioning it. This moved to facebook and suddenly most of my friends were reading this mysterious book. The only thing I knew about it was that it had been dubbed as "mummy porn" and it had my full attention so I had to read it and see what all the fuss was about. I finished the first in the 50 shades trilogy last night and have quite a few irritations about it so the best way to vent is to blog! Here is my full and frank review. WARNING this blog does contain spoilers!

In my job one of the key roles I have is to edit written reports. My main annoyance is repetition and I believe if you are writing anything the thesaurus should become your best friend. Mix up the language to avoid predictability. This book is a master class in how NOT to do it. Words and even whole sentences are completely overused especially in the supposedly erotic parts. Surely if you are writing a sexually charged book you could at least come up with different phrases for describing an orgasm. He always "finds his release" and she always "explodes all around him". I ended up filling with rage everytime I read "holy crap" or "she bit her lip" to name just a few overuses.

Moving on to the sex... well as used in the book, in my opinion, it was "vanilla". When I realised it was about s&m and dom/sub relations I did worry that it would be a bit much for me as this really isn't my thing. I needn't have worried as other than different scenarios and positions on the whole the sex description was the same everytime. Chapter 8, where the sex begins, was fine but in all honestly I thought it was a tepid start to the sex scenes but they would get more intense and sexy but they platoed at the same level throughout and just became so predictable.

I think one of the things that demanded my interest was the dom/sub thing. It interested me only because it does nothing for me and I was fascinated in what actually goes on and why/how people get into this in the first place. This was not something that was explained in this book which was a bit of a let down. There are two other books which I have not read yet and I pray this is explained in the next. This has held my interest long enough that I am very eager to start on the next book.

With all the negatives above you will be surprised to know that I actually couldn't put the book down or stop thinking about it... but why?
Simply put it was Christian Grey that demanded my attention. He intrigued me from his first appearance and held up my interest and excitement to the end. I really fell for him!
I did question why I had fallen for this messed up fictional character and I realised it is because the way he fell for Ana and tried so hard to change for her was the kind of devotion most women can only dream of. He begins as this confident, unflinching man who gets everything he wants/ demands. His intimidating demeaner is overpowering and disarming and his control freak side is to the extreme. Later in the book he has fallen so hard for Ana that he really does soften and tries to give her "more". The fact that he would be willing to change/ compromise on the only lifestyle he has ever known and enjoyed is a fantasy it seems. Even with his cold and distant demeanour he is such a loveable character and although he never says it it is clear he falls in love with Ana. As I read I wished I was her.

I am desperate to know about his past as a child and also the Mrs Robinson years. How did this relationship begin? how was he trained? was she lenient on him?
I almost wish for a prequel to this book to be written. This is the stuff that I find fascinating and to be honest I don't really even care much for the Anastasia character or their relationship whatever that was.

I actually didn't even mind the storyline of the book but it is a shame it was so badly written. To sum up I think this book was completely over-hyped and is another social media led hype. This looks set to continue as a film studio has bought the film rights. I also read that Ian Somerhalder (Boon in Lost and Damon in the Vampire Diaries) is interested in playing the Grey role. As an actor I have admired for a while now (for his looks more than his capacity to act) I would definitely be heading to the cinema to see that!

I would be keen to hear your thoughts on the book as my facebook is filled with people that absolutely loved this first instalment. I just don't get it and rate it as "alright".

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