I was pondering if virtual/ social media friends are exceeding the number of actual friends I have?
To clarify, I love my circle of friends very much and this is in no way a reflection on them!
As I get older I have noticed my circle of immediate friends getting smaller (the ones that you would call or text if you had a bad day or are just looking for someone to go shopping with). I take full responsibility for this as my children take away the ability to drop everything and go out at short notice. If I get an invite anyway there is a process I have to follow before I can commit - is it child appropriate, do I need a babysitter, who have I not asked to babysit for a while and would be happy to help me out, could I get an all night babysitter or do I have to be back at a reasonable time to let them go home etc.
Thanks to social media I haven't lost touch completely with older friends which I like as I still feel involved in their lives, albeit in a lazy voyeuristic way!
Over the years I have gained various groups of friends which usually surround mine and my husbands jobs and life circumstances. On facebook I have childhood friends, school friends, Phones4U friends, Citi Finance friends, Clarity friends, Echo friends (13 years worth), other parent friends, my husbands school friends etc and with all of these come the extended friends - people I have met through those people. I even have social media friends who I have never even met in person. There are many more groups that I haven't even mentioned but you get the idea.
On facebook I have 267 friends and on twitter I have 190 followers, every one of which I have time for... virtually that is. I worry, though, that we run the risk of losing the personal touch.
We will always have those special friends that we try hard to make time for even if circumstances and life gets in the way but ask yourself how many friends have you seen in person in the last month?
Not counting work colleagues (inside work hours) my answer is a shocking two! This is where my pondering comes from. I hadn't even realised that until writing this blog because I 'like' people's statuses and send them comments and texts so it doesn't feel that way.
I still have a Christmas gift sat at home for one of my oldest and dearest friends because I just haven't been able to meet up with her. Again this is my fault not hers as I can't seem to find the time which is laughable really and I don't think makes me a great friend.
This all proves that I have completely succumbed to the lazy virtual friendships which I value but should not rely completely on. There will come a day when I need a hug which is something a social media friend cannot provide.
So as part of my year of 'DOING THINGS RATHER THAN JUST TALKING ABOUT THEM' I will be more proactive at visiting or calling friends more.
A few of us always talk about arranging an afternoon in a big park somewhere with loads of friends to play rounders, football etc, bring a picnic and generally reliving the days when meeting up on a summers afternoon and having fun outside was the norm. So this summer I will be setting up an open group on facebook and inviting all my virtual (local) friends to come along and bring their friends and families too. It may well be that no-one turns up but if you get the invite think about the amount of friends you have seen in person that month and ask yourself, could I make the time for meeting people and having fun?
I have some brilliant friends, past and present - see montage below but couldn't find group pics of everyone so don't be offended if you are missed (and don't be offended if you hate the picture). Every person I have known has been worth the time and given me things to tweet about!
To clarify, I love my circle of friends very much and this is in no way a reflection on them!
As I get older I have noticed my circle of immediate friends getting smaller (the ones that you would call or text if you had a bad day or are just looking for someone to go shopping with). I take full responsibility for this as my children take away the ability to drop everything and go out at short notice. If I get an invite anyway there is a process I have to follow before I can commit - is it child appropriate, do I need a babysitter, who have I not asked to babysit for a while and would be happy to help me out, could I get an all night babysitter or do I have to be back at a reasonable time to let them go home etc.
Thanks to social media I haven't lost touch completely with older friends which I like as I still feel involved in their lives, albeit in a lazy voyeuristic way!
Over the years I have gained various groups of friends which usually surround mine and my husbands jobs and life circumstances. On facebook I have childhood friends, school friends, Phones4U friends, Citi Finance friends, Clarity friends, Echo friends (13 years worth), other parent friends, my husbands school friends etc and with all of these come the extended friends - people I have met through those people. I even have social media friends who I have never even met in person. There are many more groups that I haven't even mentioned but you get the idea.
On facebook I have 267 friends and on twitter I have 190 followers, every one of which I have time for... virtually that is. I worry, though, that we run the risk of losing the personal touch.
We will always have those special friends that we try hard to make time for even if circumstances and life gets in the way but ask yourself how many friends have you seen in person in the last month?
Not counting work colleagues (inside work hours) my answer is a shocking two! This is where my pondering comes from. I hadn't even realised that until writing this blog because I 'like' people's statuses and send them comments and texts so it doesn't feel that way.
I still have a Christmas gift sat at home for one of my oldest and dearest friends because I just haven't been able to meet up with her. Again this is my fault not hers as I can't seem to find the time which is laughable really and I don't think makes me a great friend.
This all proves that I have completely succumbed to the lazy virtual friendships which I value but should not rely completely on. There will come a day when I need a hug which is something a social media friend cannot provide.
So as part of my year of 'DOING THINGS RATHER THAN JUST TALKING ABOUT THEM' I will be more proactive at visiting or calling friends more.
A few of us always talk about arranging an afternoon in a big park somewhere with loads of friends to play rounders, football etc, bring a picnic and generally reliving the days when meeting up on a summers afternoon and having fun outside was the norm. So this summer I will be setting up an open group on facebook and inviting all my virtual (local) friends to come along and bring their friends and families too. It may well be that no-one turns up but if you get the invite think about the amount of friends you have seen in person that month and ask yourself, could I make the time for meeting people and having fun?
I have some brilliant friends, past and present - see montage below but couldn't find group pics of everyone so don't be offended if you are missed (and don't be offended if you hate the picture). Every person I have known has been worth the time and given me things to tweet about!
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