50 shades of "vanilla"

So it first came to my attention a while ago when Holly Willoughby was talking about it on twitter, then more people started mentioning it. This moved to facebook and suddenly most of my friends were reading this mysterious book. The only thing I knew about it was that it had been dubbed as "mummy porn" and it had my full attention so I had to read it and see what all the fuss was about. I finished the first in the 50 shades trilogy last night and have quite a few irritations about it so the best way to vent is to blog! Here is my full and frank review. WARNING this blog does contain spoilers!

In my job one of the key roles I have is to edit written reports. My main annoyance is repetition and I believe if you are writing anything the thesaurus should become your best friend. Mix up the language to avoid predictability. This book is a master class in how NOT to do it. Words and even whole sentences are completely overused especially in the supposedly erotic parts. Surely if you are writing a sexually charged book you could at least come up with different phrases for describing an orgasm. He always "finds his release" and she always "explodes all around him". I ended up filling with rage everytime I read "holy crap" or "she bit her lip" to name just a few overuses.

Moving on to the sex... well as used in the book, in my opinion, it was "vanilla". When I realised it was about s&m and dom/sub relations I did worry that it would be a bit much for me as this really isn't my thing. I needn't have worried as other than different scenarios and positions on the whole the sex description was the same everytime. Chapter 8, where the sex begins, was fine but in all honestly I thought it was a tepid start to the sex scenes but they would get more intense and sexy but they platoed at the same level throughout and just became so predictable.

I think one of the things that demanded my interest was the dom/sub thing. It interested me only because it does nothing for me and I was fascinated in what actually goes on and why/how people get into this in the first place. This was not something that was explained in this book which was a bit of a let down. There are two other books which I have not read yet and I pray this is explained in the next. This has held my interest long enough that I am very eager to start on the next book.

With all the negatives above you will be surprised to know that I actually couldn't put the book down or stop thinking about it... but why?
Simply put it was Christian Grey that demanded my attention. He intrigued me from his first appearance and held up my interest and excitement to the end. I really fell for him!
I did question why I had fallen for this messed up fictional character and I realised it is because the way he fell for Ana and tried so hard to change for her was the kind of devotion most women can only dream of. He begins as this confident, unflinching man who gets everything he wants/ demands. His intimidating demeaner is overpowering and disarming and his control freak side is to the extreme. Later in the book he has fallen so hard for Ana that he really does soften and tries to give her "more". The fact that he would be willing to change/ compromise on the only lifestyle he has ever known and enjoyed is a fantasy it seems. Even with his cold and distant demeanour he is such a loveable character and although he never says it it is clear he falls in love with Ana. As I read I wished I was her.

I am desperate to know about his past as a child and also the Mrs Robinson years. How did this relationship begin? how was he trained? was she lenient on him?
I almost wish for a prequel to this book to be written. This is the stuff that I find fascinating and to be honest I don't really even care much for the Anastasia character or their relationship whatever that was.

I actually didn't even mind the storyline of the book but it is a shame it was so badly written. To sum up I think this book was completely over-hyped and is another social media led hype. This looks set to continue as a film studio has bought the film rights. I also read that Ian Somerhalder (Boon in Lost and Damon in the Vampire Diaries) is interested in playing the Grey role. As an actor I have admired for a while now (for his looks more than his capacity to act) I would definitely be heading to the cinema to see that!

I would be keen to hear your thoughts on the book as my facebook is filled with people that absolutely loved this first instalment. I just don't get it and rate it as "alright".

Maternity leave 3 months on

It has been a while since my last post so when I found myself with a (rare) childfree house My first priority was to update my blog.

Dexter is now 3 months old and I still cannot believe how quickly it has flown by (I know everyone says that but it's true).
Mothering a baby the second time around has been so easy. The first time I remember feeling quite lost and questioning everything I was doing, convinced it was all wrong. This time, however, my experience has given me the confidence that I so envied in other mums/ friends with children. Dexter has helped in his own way as he is such an easy baby. I know there may be some mums reading this thinking "thanks for rubbing it in" but believe me my first child was an easy baby but I paid for it in spades when she hit the terrible two's (which is a phase she is still in at almost 5). He started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks and this is just getting better each week. We currently put him to bed at 10pm and he sleeps through until 5am, goes back to sleep, has a quick feed at 9am and then sleeps all the way through to mid day. He then stays away most of the afternoon and just laughs and smiles. He only cries when he is hungry but even then I am yet to see real tears and hear a proper cry.
Actually I heard him cry hard last week as we startled him with our loud yelling at each of the three goals England scored against Sweden in the Euros.
I put most of his great behaviour down to our laid back approach (apparently they pick up on the vibes you send out) and his size. He is huge!!! At eight weeks old I took him to get weighed and the health visitor looked at him and asked if he was 21 weeks old! This is a running theme and at 3 months old he is the same size as a six month old (We have actually compared). I have been told that he is going to be very tall and is following the outer percentile on the growth chart. At 5ft 2in and his father not much taller most people would wonder how on earth that happened but my brother is a good 6.5ft so there must be genes in the family somewhere.
Anyway, I was told that bigger babies are much more contented babies and I would definitely agree with this theory. So if you are pregnant and have been told that your baby is on the bigger side look at it as a positive thing.

I think the great sleeping pattern has occurred due to the fact that we put him in a cot and his own room at 2 months which I could not recommend more. That said I can understand how some parents are nervous to let a baby sleep out of their sight but believe me you both sleep so much better.

Maternity leave has felt pressurised. Stay with me on this. If I waste a day doing nothing but watching TV it puts me on a downer and I constantly have a sinking feeling that I have wasted a day. So I am constantly looking for things to do. At first this was fine as my house really could use an all over deep clean so I would take a room a day and get on with it. The only problem is that now I seem to have become a clean freak and get annoyed if people come in and make it a mess which is not good with a 5 year old. I am continuously cleaning which I then started to feel was wasting the day too so I started making plans for at least two outings a week. This was fine at first but now I am on maternity pay I can't afford to do the things I was doing and I am not a fan of walking for no reason so I struggle to find things to do. I probably spend more time trying to think up things to do than actually doing them.
I need a hobby...

I did take both kids swimming a few weeks ago which was great fun and Dexter absolutely loves the water so had a whale of a time and he even fell asleep in the pool. People kept telling me I was brave for bringing a baby so young swimming which made me wonder if I should not have taken him... I get paranoid sometimes.
As the school holiday approaches I am sure I will fill my days easily as my mum will be off work and hopefully some of my other mum friends will be taking time off so I will have plenty of people to see.

My health and fitness has now become a huge priority for me. I started back at bootcamp a couple of weeks ago which I absolutely love and to make it better, a year on, the people attending are the same as before. I currently do this once a week for now and plan to up it to three times a week when I go back to work and can afford it.
Due to the diabetes I had in pregnancy I lost a lot of weight at the end of my pregnancy. The picture below was taken two weeks after the birth and it is an unusually good picture of me. However, since then I started snacking and putting the weight back on again.

Over the last week I downloaded an app on my phone which takes into account your current weight, height, age etc and based on how much you want to weigh calculates your daily calorie allowance. You then enter all the food, drink and snacks you consume through the day which links to the nutritional contents of each and at the end of the day you get an analysis on your consumption that day (reduce trans fats to ... etc). Its great and takes into account any exercise you do and keeps track of the water you consume.
I don't think of it as counting calories as I don't agree with 'dieting' on the whole. It is simply helping me to understand the nutritional value of the things I am eating, keeping a check on my portion sizes and generally makes me think twice when I fancy a snack. It only works if you are honest but it is helping me rethink my diet.

My overall goal is to look and feel fantastic when I return to work in September but it will also form part of my permanent lifestyle change. One day I would like to think I will be in good enough shape to even complete a marathon. Its good to have goals and this one is quite long term but very achievable.

Hopefully my next post wont take as long to complete. I am taking Dexter on his first holiday next month so will be posting how that went.

See ya
xxxx

Dexter is now 3.5 weeks - where did the time go?

Dexter is now 3.5 weeks old and getting bigger by the day.
Today was a good day as Dexter had his scan this morning to see if the hole in his back goes through to his spine. The results were very good and it does not go through to his spine and everything looks normal. Apparently it may close up over time too. He will have another scan in about 3 months just to check there is no change.

I am spending most of my maternity leave feeling very guilty. As I am getting up every two hours in the night I know I should catch up on my sleep during the day when Dexter sleeps but when he does go for a long sleep in the day I end up using my time cleaning or cooking. This is mainly as I feel as I am at home and my husband is having to provide for me the least I could do is provide him with a spotless house and dinner on the table. In the process I am exhausted. Perhaps I should review this thought process and focus on myself instead.

Life with Dexter is amazing. He is such a timewaster and I could watch him all day. It is all so much easier than I remembered from the first time around. Perhaps it is just the fact that I have confidence in what I am doing this time around.

My weight is doing well. I was a size 16 before I fell pregnant and last week managed to fit into a size 14! so I am very pleased and making an effort to eat healthily. I still have to wait a few more weeks until I am allowed to do some exercises but I am walking a lot more in the meantime. With my weight loss and a new hair cut and colour I went out last weekend for a friends birthday. It was the first proper night out I have had and I really enjoyed myself. I was bombarded with compliments which didn't do any harm to my self esteem! It has certainly spurred me on to continue to lose weight and drop a couple more dress sizes so watch this space.

Going out for the first time was strange. Although I had an amazing time every now and again I would remember my kids and feel really guilty for leaving my 3 week old with someone. There was no need to feel guilty of course as they were safe and happy but it does make you think you shouldn't be out drinking!

I still have to pinch myself and don't quite feel like I am mature enough to have two kids but I do and I wouldn't change it for the world.

The next big decision to make it what contraception I am going onto as I no longer want any more children I need something a bit more secure than the pill. I have discussed with my husband about him having the snip but as we are both in out early 30's it doesn't feel quite right and a bit too final. So in the meantime I am toying with getting the injection. I need to go to the doctors and discuss all the options.

Anyway best go as mummy duties are calling and Dexter wants a feed.